Breathing

Right now. In. Out.

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That’s where I am. I recently put in my 2 weeks at a job where I was constantly  combating anxiety attacks because of the line work. I am now unemployed with a wedding looming over my head and one of our cars just took a dump. I am in thick of it. I want to write some post where I am learning some sort of lesson like my previous ones, or one where a major awesome life changing event happened- but I’m not. I am right here, breathing. Asking the Lord for an opportunity for work and sending my resume countless places. And this, is life. I wish it were like those other coffee and Jesus blogs that just write out lessons and we all feel like they have it together. But in actuality, we all go through things. We can tell people, or we can keep it secret. I prefer a more transparent approach. Guys, I am currently without a job, I am paying for a wedding and now for car repair. I still love the Lord with all of my heart and I am clinging to Paul’s words when he wrote;

“I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4: 12-13

With each breath and resume submission I am relying on His strength and not my own. It’s a constant choice to open my hand a surrender it back to Him. Sometimes, like when we got the estimate for the car, it’s very difficult. Sometimes it’s easier to get angry than to trust and cling to His strength. But sometimes it’s so easy I don’t even think about it.

Yet here I am, choosing once again.

In.

Out.

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